


brought to you by my dishwasher

by beewritesbooks



Series: SW Modern AU [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, This Is A Disaster, Who let me write this, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22596400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beewritesbooks/pseuds/beewritesbooks
Summary: “So, welcome new people to the channel. I’m Boba, this is the ChaosHouse channel, where a four-parent-three-child household is rarely calm."Living in a four-parent-three-child household isn't easy, but it has it's ups. Like being able to create a YouTube channel to document all the stupid things that go on. This is what Boba Fett has done, and he's not sure if he regrets it.
Relationships: Implied Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: SW Modern AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625923
Comments: 7
Kudos: 207





	brought to you by my dishwasher

**Author's Note:**

> before y'all come for me for everyone being Out Of Character, i am aware. but this is fanfiction, and if i want to bully Anakin Skywalker then i will damn well do so. thank you.

“Before any of you ask, I’ve been home alone all day and only had one job to do and I didn’t do it, and my parents are 10 minutes away from home. That’s why this Q and A livestream is brought to you by my dishwasher and the frankly absurd number of dirty dishes in our kitchen.”

The kitchen was, indeed, not clean. The previous night had seen three adults and two children at the dinner table, so it was understandable that there were a lot of plates. But this was also due to the fact that Boba hadn’t cleaned the kitchen yesterday, either.

As he explained this to the audience of a couple dozen people, he added, “but yesterday I was with my S-B-A’s, so forgive me for being tired as hell when I got home.”

Opening the dishwasher and pulling out the bottom drawer, Boba began unloading the clean dishes onto the chopping board. “Now, we’ve got a few new subscribers joining us thanks to the video a couple of days ago – thank you to my parents for not immediately kicking me out of their bed.” Boba looked to the laptop to check the viewer count – now close to 1,000. “So, I’ve decided to explain what’s up with this channel and who everyone is.”

He hesitated in placing a pot on top of the plates, but put it down anyway. “So, welcome new people to the channel. I’m Boba, this is the ChaosHouse channel, where a four-parent-three-child household is rarely calm. Despite what our unofficial slogan may tell you, the family’s actually split into two houses, so never take anything at face value here.”

Turning around, he started to put clean plates and bowls in the cupboards. “In this house, it’s me, my dad and my father, and sometimes Anakin. The other house contains my mom – who is Anakin’s wife – and my siblings-by-association, or my S-B-A’s.”

Finishing the task, Boba turned to the computer relaying the chat and a list of questions. “I asked y’all on Twitter what questions you had for me, so here are some of my favourites.” He quickly scrolled down to find a bolded question – one just for him. “Which set of grandparents has, quote, ‘normal names’ and which has weird names.”

Boba stared at the camera for a few seconds. “Bold of you to assume any of my grandparents have normal names,” he said. “But, Dad and Father’s parents I call ‘grandma’ and ‘grandpa’ because they’re the most closely related to me. I just address Anakin and Mom’s parents by their names, usually.”

The livestream continued for a few more minutes, answering questions from both the list and the growing audience, until a ‘ding’ from Boba’s phone and computer notified him of a message.

> **Cryptid Parent**
> 
> Why are you only doing the dishes now?

“Dad just asked me why I’m only doing the dishes now, which means either someone snitched on me to my parents, or they’re watching the live,” Boba commented, adding the final few plates to the dishwasher. “If someone snitched, I’m coming for your left shoes.”

Placing in a dishwashing tablet, Boba closed the dishwasher and turned it on. “Well, at least I finished that before getting the disappointed stare from my parents,” he said, climbing on top of the counter. He moved the computer to his lap and read through the comments. “Thank you for the support on my wonderful dishwashing skills,” he said, grinning at the clapping emotes. “rocksmash42 asks why Anakin doesn’t have a title, and if I’ve ever called him ‘Dad’ or something similar,” Boba read out from a passing comment.

He looked up as a heard car tyres in the driveway. “Anakin doesn’t have a title like Dad or Father because I ran out of names. Calling him ‘pa’ doesn’t sound correct, so I’ve just stuck with Anakin and nobody’s told me to stop, so I haven’t.” The front door opened with a jangle of keys, and Boba looked to the door and then the camera. “I have called him ‘Dad’ once, when I was half-asleep trying to finish a TV show. I’m pretty sure he cried, even though he has kids that call him Dad on a regular basis."

“Listen here, Boba,” Anakin said from the door, surprising Boba slightly. “It was the first time you didn’t call me ‘Anakin’ and I’m pretty sure I was a little bit drunk.” He threw his jacket onto the couch, walking into the kitchen. “Obi, tell Boba he’s bullying me.”

“J, he’s your kid,” Obi-Wan told Jango, following Anakin’s jacket to the couch.

Boba looked to the camera and addressed the stream, “well, everyone who’s new, this is Anakin,” he gestured to Anakin, who was eating Pringles out of his hand as he stood behind Boba.

He watched in camera’s view as Anakin looked at the camera, then Boba, then the computer before coming to a realisation. “Oh, you’re streaming. Hello, everyone,” he waved to the camera. “I’m Anakin’s least-favourite father figure, apparently, considering he bullies me so much.”

“That is slander and treason, Skywalker,” Boba said, stealing a Pringle from Anakin’s hand.

“I’ve been downgraded!” Anakin cried dramatically. “Can either of you deal with your son?”

Obi-Wan shook his head without looking at Anakin. Boba’s dad stood just out of view of the camera and just looked at Anakin. “He’s going through his emo phase; he’s not going to listen to any of us.”

“J, I know we’re not dating but I’m going to find a way to break up with you,” Anakin threatened. Jango just shook his head and smiled in response. “I came over here to be a loving family, and I’m getting picked on by everyone.”

“We’ve got some time left, so if all of my parents want to answer some questions, I can move the camera. Or we can have a kitchen Q and A,” Boba addressed the three adults. “I mean, everyone in chat is sounding pretty confused as to what’s happening right now.”

Jango shrugged and nodded, as did Anakin. “I’ll get the bucket,” Obi-Wan said, pushing himself off the couch with a groan Boba wasn’t 100% sure was over-dramatized.

Boba gestured to the stools in front of him and looked at Anakin, who jumped up on the counter and down the other side to sit down. “Why are you like this, Anakin?” Boba asked. A cheeky smile was his only response.

Soon enough, all three were sitting down; Obi-Wan was in the middle, as he usually was, with Boba sitting behind him with the computer on his lap. “Okay, question numero uno; which family member do you like the most?”

“Padmé,” was the answer from all three of them.

Boba nodded in silence. “At least she has some common sense. I’m saying Leia at the moment, but only because Luke threw a paint-filled water balloon at me yesterday and ruined my favourite shirt and I’m still not over that.”

“That’s why our backyard mysteriously has purple grass?” Jango asked, turning around to face the teenager.

“No, that was a completely unrelated incident. That actually happened a week ago and nobody noticed,” Boba explained. “This was with blue paint. We didn’t get any on the grass this time.” His dad didn’t seem convinced, but he still turned around and looked at the camera with a shake of his head.

Boba scanned the chat for another question. “’Why does he always wear a helmet?’” he read aloud.

“This is just my head, actually,” Jango replied with a monotone voice. Anakin snorted in laughter. “I have no further comments on the matter.”

The livestream went on until Obi-Wan suggested that they start making dinner, which everyone agreed too. Surprisingly, none of them had chip crumbs in their hair (Boba wouldn’t stop telling the story whenever the whole family was together, which his Dad hated), but Boba did spill juice on his shirt.

“All-in-all,” Boba began the outro, “I think this was a success. More people think Dad is a cryptid, which is a plus, and the kitchen isn’t ruined. Thank you all for watching, see you next video. This has been Boba, leaving for a galaxy far, far away.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! this might be a series, who knows?


End file.
